She has seen two world wars. She has stories about how nice the Italian solders were to her and how jealous her husband was. She tells of the food they gave her and the flowered tent. Her life has not been an easy one and much if not all of it has been spent traveling and begging. I have been visiting nene (or Grandma) for the last five years or so. Last week she fell and broke her hip. It makes me so sad. There is little hope for her. She is too old and poor for the doctors here to do anything for her. Her family keeps her at home in her little shack. She lays in pain, unable to move much. It's not a pleasant way to go. I'm sure her family would just like to see it over with. She's old after all. She's so afraid of death. There is so little we can do. I have brought her pain medication, but it's only a drop in the bucket of her need.
6 comments:
Julee - looking at the grandmother, hearing her story and imagining her pain just makes me cry. I can't really see how you can bear to deal with her pain every day - especially after having grown so fond of her for these past 5 years. When I was there visiting you I remember feeling the dark, hopelessness of the country underlying the bustle of daily life. I was only there two weeks - I can't imagine living in that despair. You and Dave are so amazing to be giving your lives over to living among and loving the Albanian people.
Oh my. Is there anything more frightening than being left alone when dying? What do those people think? How is it going to be when they are dying? Will there be someone for their then?
As Terry says, it takes a special soul to be able to bear with all that pain and hoplessness!
Julee, you are doing more than you know by just visiting her and trying to soothe her pain. That means so much when you are lost in the dark clouds of pain and fear and loneliness. I'm sure you are such a bright spot in her waning days. :)
Grandma isn't all alone. Her family does come and care for her. Roma live in family compounds when they can. It's just that they care out of duty rather then love. Also it's hard to deal with such a care intensive situation on already slim resources.
Dandjschoch, that was what I meant, too. I've already left an old person alone in her dying, taking care of her physical needs only. I don't want to sound stupidly sentimental but I think the most you can give to someone in a situation like that is love. Which is not going to save them from what is coming but what more can you give? Of course I know it is not easy. And so on. I've been there, done that. I failed. Hope to do better next time. I respect you very much for the things I read on this blog.
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